Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I love being a teacher...

I got an email this morning from a student from last year. She is in 5th grade now, and has sought my advice. I think it must have helped out. Here is what she wrote back this afternoon:

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thank you for that lovely email me and my bff have made up its just she was leaving me out at her horse show and it really hurt my feelings but she said sorry and i said it was fine so yeah these girls just think they are better then me but they are not. math is really hard so i told my teacher she is nothing like you but she said she would help me I'm glad to hear that you like teaching 9th grade! I have a jog a thon coming up and you have to have sponsors and in the spring i am doing track i am really excited. And the great thing is everyone forgot about being mean to me because we had a field trip. But i talked to my mom and i wanted somone elses opinion
THANKS

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AMAZING!...and I'm glad that she caught on with all the punctuation I taught her ;)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

surrender

as many other teachers in california, i was rif'd (reduction in force...essentially, i lost my job) on march 15th of this year. it came as no new news, as each year that i have taught i have lost my job. i remained calm, one of several who did, expecting the best. but, as june approached, with the budget crisis worsening, i was slowing losing my optimism.

i did finally go over the edge with stress. i didn't realize the effect i was creating until i had some severe medical issues. i had to have blood work done to make sure that everything was normal. i missed a day of school in the last week. sad. everything came back normal. praise God!

with the end of the school year, i faced packing up my classroom and leaving for an all-expense-paid two-week cruise the next day...an incredible gift! last year i left for africa the day after school ended, but i was able to keep my things in my classroom. (this wasn't helping my level of stress...my lack of trust in God)

i went on this incredible cruise, it was amazing. i saw places that i would have otherwise most likely never have seen in the mediterranean! how blessed i was! and yet, the looming darkness of the unknown...i was losing my home. where would i live? where would i work? could i even find a job? would i really need to move out of the state? the budget will come around, right? these questions were a constant echo in my thoughts daily. every once in a while, i was able to realize how much they were effecting me. could feel the burden weighing me down.

i had just over a week and a half after getting home from the cruise until i had to leave for another week for summer camp. i didn't want to go. i was waiting for paperwork for unemployment to come in, i was still waiting to find out if i was accepted into the graduate program at cal state fullerton (if i couldn't make money, why not spend it on more education ;)

i tried to get out of it, but i am so glad that i couldn't. (again, sorry simone for putting you and jono through that!) as i was frantically packing, trying not to forget anything and cleaning up my house a bit so i wouldn't come home to a mess (yes, i'm that guy), i remembered to check my mail. i got the paperwork to fill out for unemployment! such a great way to start off the week. thank you, Lord! the biggest thing that i was worrying over at that moment was taken care of. okay, off to enjoy a week of hanging out with awesome kids in the mountains and two of my best friends. it was looking up :)

we got to camp, and it was so much more than i expected. God did a mighty work in the kids lives, but also in mine. it was exactly what i needed...hearing the truths of the word of God, playing games, laughing so hard several times a day, and not worrying about everything that was in the back of my mind. being reminded of how good God is everyday. being reminded to rejoice in Him. even in the quiet of the night, as i was about to fall asleep, it was hard to remember the faint worries.

at one point, bret, the speaker, made a comment. he said something related to if he sees people worrying, not trusting in God, then he might question whether or not they are truly saved. yes, this got my attention. seeing as everything about me for the few months leading up to this moment was exactly that...not trusting in God. it hit pretty hard, and initially i wanted to reject it, fight it, pound my fist and say not so! but, as i sat there, quiet, the heavy realization hit me hard in the face. God, who has been faithful more than i can count, in circumstances bigger than i need to recall, everytime...not just here or there, everytime He has been faithful...it was my Creator that i wasn't trusting. why does it take so long to learn?

from that moment on, my outlook was different. i can't remember exactly when he said that, but i know it was later in the week. i decided that when i got home i was going to get a storage unit, look for jobs all around california, and if i couldn't find one, then look to oklahoma.

we came down the mountain. one of the guy's in the youth group was telling me of the neat things God revealed to him throughout the week. my heart was light; the first time i felt this way in so long. it was amazing. God is good.

after leaving the church, i headed straight for stor-it storage. i had a storage unit there previously, and by returning with the little blue card i would get the first month half off with a free lock! (can't beat that deal!) i went in. everything was smooth. i didn't only get the first month half off, i got the first TWO months half off! my day was looking up. i decided not to take the free lock, as i had my own. i went to my car after signing the papers and grabbed my lock and my phone. i had to walk to the unit, as they hadn't put my gate code in yet. i didn't mind. it was so cool compared to how hot it was in the mountains.

as i was walking, i checked my messages. ryan, a teacher i taught with at vista del mar had called. a short message. "melissa, it's ryan. call me." (wow. that was short.) i called her back and the first thing out of her mouth was, "you got your job back." i'm pretty sure i told her to shut up. i was not having any joking, i was finally okay with leaving. i wasn't ready for anyone to play games with me like this. she told me that i was being taken back as a middle school english teacher, that they had revised the "lists." (i had only seen them once...to know that out of 248 teachers who lost their jobs in the district, i was number 25 in the bottom 25...my chances were near impossible.)

she asked for my email and password to see if i had gotten an email, and i had. i couldn't quite believe it. i nearly burst through the door of the storage place, i think i was even yelling, and i said, "i think i got my job back!? i just signed up for a storage! i think i got my job back!?! i'll come back." and then i hurried out the door. (oh, what that poor woman behind the counter was thinking)

it didn't take long for the surreal realization to set in. to put it simply, i was hysterical for about 45 minutes. there was so much to do. i needed to see the email and the list for myself (still not totally trusting that ryan wasn't playing games with me). i had to get another apartment. i had to cancel the storage that i had, literally, just paid for. i had to find out where i was teaching. i had to learn HOW to teach middle schoolers! i don't know the first thing about teaching middle school, except that i didn't like it much when i was in it because i was the fat kid "/

friday was kind of a blur. so much happened. it hit me. it hit me hard. i had finally surrendered my job, where i live, my life as i knew it over to Him. and He gave it all back, and more.

on saturday, when i went to get a new apartment (mine has already been rented out), i was blessed with a slightly bigger place for nearly $300 less a month. and it's on the first floor! (fun fact: it was the first apartment jono and simone had at the aventine!) i went to storage to cancel it, but i have to go back on monday because that's when the owner is there. the woman that helped me the day before was there, and she said she didn't know how to handle this kind of situation because it had never happened before. praise you, Lord!

my mom came up and we were going to start packing. (i am moving into my new place on saturday, and leaving for a bootcamp training and then africa only days later) we had lunch, and on our way back i checked my mail. i got my first unemployment check! and a letter from capo district. the moment of truth. would i find out where i would be teaching?! would i find out there was a mistake and they were sorry to inform me that i was not, in fact, teaching in the fall? why wait...too tense. open the envelope. my heart took a slight drop. my new placement is at san juan hills high school. HIGH SCHOOL!

so many emotions went through me...fear, excitement, anxiety. wow. high school.

naturally, my mom and i left my apartment complex immediately and drove down to the school, about 20 minutes away. it is so beautiful! it is brand new, this will be it's third year in existence.

realization hit. i will be teaching high school english in the fall. i will be able to chaperone prom! (i think that is the coolest thing ever!) i will be teaching. God has given me the gift of being able to teach each and everyday again. how am i so blessed? though i don't trust Him, though i let myself get to where i did. though everything was going wrong, He turned it for good. (He turns all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.)

wow. i am still quite a bit speechless...though, if you're reading this you can't tell by how LONG it is ;)

i can't wait to dive in and see what He has for me to do in this school. He definitely has some reason for putting me there. He has prepared me for working with high schoolers...7 years of high school ministry. though i am going to be done working with high schoolers in the church, He has made it as clear as day that i am to still work with them. God, may i be what and who you would have me to be as i teach this year.

looking back, i can see how God has had His hand in everything, every little detail. when i was in college, approaching the end of my three years at csu san marcos (degree/credential program), i went into my counselor's office. i asked her about getting a minor in literature and writing, as i was getting an emphasis in lit/writing, and had so many extra classes (by accident) in it. she told me i was pretty far away from getting a minor, but i was close to getting a subject matter authorization in literature and writing. this, she said, would basically prove to the state that i was qualified to teach through 9th grade english. so, i took a heavy load my last year of college to complete it...18 and 21 units in my last two semesters. wow. God knew what He was doing way back then.

what a couple of days i have had. my head is so full of everything right now, so much to do, it feels like it is going to explode. (really though, i'm getting a headache) i pray that i learn...things that i still worry, wonder, contemplate over...hopefully i will learn, yet again, to trust God. knowing that He is in control, and that He has a plan.

on a different note...i think i'm going to need to change the title of my blog, as i will no longer be teaching 4th grade...

Friday, June 5, 2009

future

Whoa! Two in a matter of minutes! Simone, Carrie...you'd be proud ;)

So, as far as my future goes, who knows? The Lord! Seeing as our great state is falling quickly down a financail spiral of doom, I am left, with hundreds, and thousands statewide, without a job in the fall. (sad...no funny kids stories for a while) But, I don't plan on just sitting around waiting, hoping that something will just fall into my lap. I have a few game plans, if you will, of what the future could possibly hold.

Plan A:
Everything works out, and I teach at Vista del Mar in the fall again! Not likely, but not impossible...

Plan B:
I move to Oklahoma and get a teaching job there. This isn't completely crazy, as I was born there, have nearly all of my family out there...with my parents nearly moving back. My uncle is a teacher, and has principal friends, so I could most likely get hired quickly. Problems...school would start when I'm in Africa, so I'd have to miss the first couple of weeks. If Capo Unified could hire me back, and I was already in a contract with another district, I would lose the position and little seniority I already have. Hmm...

Plan C:
Move in with Kara Robertson (she just called me a few days ago and told me that she is in need of a roommate to move in in August) and her roommates. Initially when I called her back, I told her how this seemed wonderful, but I'd probably be moving as I have no job and no source of income other than unemployment, and that this, unfortunately cannot support me. She called me back later, and we talked for quite some time. Through our conversation, it dawned on me that I could go back to school in the fall and get my master's. Moving in with her and her roommates would save me nearly $800 a month, and if I can get student loans, I might be able to make ends meet. Liking this one...

So, there are still a lot of things to figure out. I need to break my lease regardless of the "Plan" I choose, which will cost money. And, I need to know soon. If you read this, and I'm not offended if no one does, please pray with me that God would reveal everything to me...opening only the door He would have me go through, slamming doors in my face of what I shouldn't do, or opening several doors, and just trusting Him and taking a step of faith.

"Gold Dust or Bust"

So, I really should be writing sub plans write now, but I've been wanting to write this down...

Last week Simone came to my school to watch my kids play, "Gold Dust or Bust." They did great! But the best part wasn't their performance, it was a comment made by a sweet girl of mine.

As I was "directing," I was unable to take my normal pictures, so Sim grabbed my camera and off she went. I waited for about 10 minutes before we started the play, as parking can be horrible. As we were waiting, this little gem of mine said,

Little Gem: "Ms. Murphy, who's that?"
Me: "That's my friend, Mrs. Knepper."
Little Gem: "Simone?" (I tell the kids my friends first names, apparently)
Me: "Yeah."
Little Gem: "Isn't she from South Africa?"
Me: "Yes, sweetheart."
Little Gem:...voice quietly fading away..."I thought she would have been bl-"

It was priceless. I started laughing out loud like crazy!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Periods?

So, the other day, a little girl came up to me to ask a question. This is not rare, as she asks questions frequently, whether relating to the content or not. However, one thing was a little different than normal. She was speaking in a much softer tone than normal, so at first it was a bit hard to hear. The conversation went as follows:

Student: Ms. Murphy, when do we get our periods? Fifth grade?

Me: What sweetheart? (thinking at this moment I heard her wrong)

Student: When do we get our periods? (still speaking quietly, but loud enough to know I heard her correctly "/

Me: Umm....what?? (wanting to shrivel up into a ball at this point...thinking to myself...'These are the kinds of questions you need to ask your mom, sweetie.')

Student: You know, like first period, second period, third period? When do we get our periods?

Me: (light bulbs going off, sigh uncontrollably escaping my breath) Oh! OH! In middle school. Sixth grade.

Student: Oh, bummer. I wanted them next year. (or some sentence related to this)

Me: Okay, have a seat sweetheart.

Yeah...escapades of a fourth grade teacher. You never know what's in store for you. One thing I have learned for sure is to get complete clarification before trying to answer a question that could have more than one answer, or meaning.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

more great parent responses...

OMG you poor girl... I bet you where dying. LOL I understand.

Oh my gosh--don't worry about it at all! It's part of history and culture.

Every child needs that experience in class when they see their poor teacher realizing it's all going horribly wrong!! Please, on behalf of us parents, worry not...So if she wants to come to school in a headdress and little else, I'll know why?!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

TEACHER OF THE YEAR!!!

So, today a really awesome (horrendous is a better term) thing happened. I was showing a PBS "Gold Rush" documentary and didn't realize that a painting of a male Native American shooting a bow and arrow was going to be showcased to enhance detail from the time of the Gold Rush. Well, the author of this Native American painting decided it would be best to depict this certain male Native American without a loin cloth....to give a better idea of the era?

The class erupted in laughter and shouting, and who knows! I was trying to cover the t.v. while turning it and the dvd player off, all amidst turning bright red. (I think they realized I was freakin' out)

As I walked down the short path to my principal's office, every part of me dreading it as I did when I was a 4th grader, I thought about my pink slip I received yesterday.

I prefaced our "conversation" with...
"Okay, so I got my pink slip yesterday...you totally don't have to rehire me." (part joking, part serious)

He is a great principal, very understanding. He helped me to write an email to my parents explaining what happened. Here are a few responses I got after sending out an email from my students parents. If I get any other good ones, I'll make sure to post them as well...


response 1:
Melissa,
Giggle, giggle. I had to laugh a bit at your expense. I can imagine the wide array of reactions. I will also talk to my daughter this evening. NO WORRIES!

response 2:
Omg! I wish I could have been there!!! You poor thing!!! :) I can not even imagine the expression on the kids faces! I'm fine. I'm sure she will tell me all about it!

same responder...different email:
Btw she got a bigger kick out of ur reaction than the movie. I had to pull over we were laughing so hard! :)

response 3:
LOL no problem


But, lesson learned...review CLOSELY every movie to be shown in a classroom from here on out.